I breathe numbers, my
Mouse click evenings are
Spent dawdling
On dwindling RAM.

I broke my first sector
On a BIOS detector.
You wanted me even then,
Disk-drive K E E N.

You dirty little bastard, your
Admonition halting

Snap –
Snap back metal sleeves;
Silky milky
ferrous tape

the fabric of my memories.

O am I unravelling ! !


Second City

I read my scribbled paragraphs of the second novel back to myself.  If I am honest I think of my fiction as filmic.  It is a camera, on a tripod, on a set of rails, moving smoothly from scene to scene, not lingering too long, not judging and not loving, not until the crucial frame.  Until the money shot.

I think of my fiction in this way and I glide the Narrator from character to character.  I don’t want to reach a verdict or The Verdict or some verdict on what they do because in real life, when the camera points at you, are you ready, to be judged — to have that scrutiny poured upon what you do and how you act and what you say and how you hold your lips up to the glass in the pale, watery sodium barlight?

You are not.


It’s different than it was before
But it’s you I’m still thinking of

— Toy

In the gaps, on the Seine, in your polka dot, with your ruby red lipstick, and the golden hair strangling my dreams:

In the gaps, with a little hand, eagerly tucked into mine, you held on and drew my motive force

In the gaps, of an airbed in Hackney, as close to heaven as I’ve been, hanging on to hold off the incumbent dawn

Yes, we left a pretty mess of frozen heartstrings


Slow l y